Movie night

We had set a date for last night…

In the morning I asked what time, and she said 8. Id to work down the street till 7, so I offered 7:30.
I should have just shut up. I mean, it didnt even matter, it was just more compfy for me… But left a bitter taste all day.

Anyway, I dressed nice, went to my jobs and was done at 6. Wasted time in book stores and was on my way there 7:20… I asked if shes anywhere near relaxed or if I shall wait a bit. She asked to wait. That very second we had a thunderstorm with heavy rain that flooded streets.

She said I can come, but shes cleaning and wants to shower. No problem. I sat there, waited and watched. She was nervous. Hehe.

We went to get some pizza n wine, and on the way to the store, I just took her hand.
Its nice. The moment we are close, our bodies touch. We sat on the balcony for dinner, close to each other.

Then, movie night. A cheezy romantic music movie. A good one though.
She asked if she can put her arm around me the second we sat. We saw the movie, curled up together, fingertips wandering over arms, a few stolen kisses.

I feel relaxed. Usually, its this rush, a whirlwind. But she keeps telling me she needs to take it slow and it really relaxed me. Cause I dont feel like shes just playing games. Cause I think she will slowly walk to me. Make us find a balance.

When I walked to her, yesterday, I thought I hope she wants to keep me for a bit. Because I think I want to keep her. I want her in my life.

Shes different. Shes normal and behaving grown up. We click.

She made me shiver last night, when her hand ran over my tattoo, and her fingertips drew along the lines. She made me smile when she asked me how many stars are there, and I said I dont know. I dont. Never counted. Its 18. She counted.

Sometimes, my head acts up. Yea nice, depression thing. Sometimes it tells me stupid things. I dont tell her all of them. I just feel totally insecure for a moment. Because she doesnt write or something. A moment later I know shes just working. Stupid head. But over all, Im relaxed.

I can only talk about my side here. But I want to get to know her. Be with her. Find out, what there might be.

Slowly

Today has been slow. I woke up around nine. And sent her a good morning.
She sent me a sleepy head pic back.

We will see each other tomorrow. Ive a job around the corner before. We plan on watching a movie. Im glad we will be alone. I dont mind going out, but thats the third time we will meet, and … no rushing things.

This is so… Different, weird.

There is kissing, and somehow I feel like I already know her. Yet I dont. I know a few facts. She knows a few. Theres no rush. No burning questions.

Yea come on, most lesbian “relationships” start different. All I met made things moving faster, like we wouldnt have time. You had to know each other after a week, sex latest on date 2, spending the whole week together after that. Rush, rush.

And I admit, I like when my blood starts rushing in excitement. It makes me feel awake, alive. Tough Im relieved with her and I things are like they are.

Yes, Im waiting for a message from her and will grin if it comes in. But I also know she will be super busy cause she has a deadline tomorrow. Im not worried. Actually, I could even understand if she postpones tomorrow. She must be exhausted from all the long nights.

But she said shes positive she wants to see me, so I wont start a discussion… She said she cant be out all night though. Fine, cause Ill have the hell of a thursday myself.

It might be normal, but the last two women thought me different.

But this girl, she doesnt play games. She makes me feel good. Relaxed. Wanted. Over all she doesnt drive me nuts.

This will lead somewhere or not. We will see.
Without rushing through it.

(I cant wait for tomorrow though!!)

Surprise

Today, I had the complete day planned out. Morning filled with jobs, afternoon with paperwork. I even managed play time with the dog into it…

So, two jobs done, appointment at apple… Which took forever, 1,5h to reset the stupid thing…

Anyway, while waiting, she wrote me a good morning. We exchanged a few lines. Then she asked if I wanna come over when Im done. She asked me. Yay. Let me grin at the apple guy wildly.

Finished the last job, took the tram. Called cause her bell is broken. Went upstairs. She was dressed in indian jeans, a violet shirt and green violet striped cardigan. And western boots, which made her higher than I am… She also wore her glasses, she only uses them for work… Think they look cute on her. Anyway, we kinda hugged/ she kissed my cheek or so. Bit weird.

Watched her working for a while. I brought some cookies from the bakery. We talked a bit about our jobs etc. She told me, she will have a friend visiting her the next days, but invited me for Eurovision song contest on Saturday. Her, that friend and her best friend. Uh… I will see her wednesday, and we will see after that.

Then, lunchtime. We went down the street to a Turkish store, sat outside under the roof in the rain.

She had some work to do n so had I. She lead me back to the tram station, and we hugged. I held her a moment longer, she smelled so great. Then I kissed her, quickly. That second kiss was way more passionated, needing more. I pulled back, I knew we both had stuff to do. She smiled when I stepped away, our hands holding, as long as they could.

On my way home, I probably smiled. All the way. On my so planned through day.

Insecure

Someone asked me, why Im writing about this.

Because I can. Because I want.

Im a dreamer. I want to jump and fly, I want to dance in summer rain, and I want somebody dancing with me. Over all, I love to write

She wasnt planned.

My head was messing with me yesterday. I was so exhausted, and scared. I knew it was stupid, but Id to write her, ask her if shes sure she wants to meet again. She asked if Im nuts, for sure she wants to! It untied that knot in my head.

And reminded me. I walked her home Friday night, or more Saturday morning. She had her bike, and took my hand. Every time she had to let go she took it again. I kissed her good night at her door. When I came home, the sunrise was orange, beautiful shining, and while I watched the day beginn, I felt her lips, still.

I dont know how this will turn out. All I want is somebody who takes me as I am. Just like that.

Blind date

After writing for two weeks – and one of those, she was on a holiday trip…, we met yesterday. For the first time. We set the time a few days ago, but never set the place, just to ask each other in the same second yesterday…

I didnt plan on anything. Shes a great woman, smart n interesting. I thought we would go along great. I was there early, and watched the people. She found me, and I wasnt nervous any more the second I looked at her. Chucks, a pretty black dress, a star printed hoodie jacket. We got a coffee and walked through the park.

We just started talking, this and that, here and there, without breaks. We sat at the water for a while until we got too cold. After hitting a bank terminal, we went to a small bar. It was early n empty, we got beer and good places. We just chatted along. About whatever crossed our minds.

To me, thats rare.

When it filled with people, we sat a bit closer, our legs touching, our finger brushing each others a bit. Until we held hands. Until we couldnt look away. She asked me if she can kiss me. God. I dont know how long we sat there, talking, holding hands, kissing. It finally got really crowded, and we left.

We went to a smaller bar and a last beer. She asked if Id be mad if she doesnt take me home. No, I wasnt. Cause there, at 4 am, it felt so right to be with her. Just… To sit and talk. I walked her home, she held my hand. I kissed her goodbye. And when I came home, I still felt her lips on mine…

Ive no idea how that happened. What happened. What will happen. Ive no idea. But this morning, I woke up with a wish.